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| 1940s NYC Taxicabs (This was taken during a taxi-driver strike. For all we know, THIS guy was Fred's driver) |
He says of his taxi-ride:
"I know little of where I went or what I said and did."
Note: Have you had similar experiences, blackouts?
From Wikipedia: "Research on alcohol blackouts was begun by E. M. Jellinek in the 1940s. Using data from a survey of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) members, he came to believe that blackouts would be a good predictor of alcoholism. However, there are conflicting views as to whether this is true.The negative psychological effects of an alcohol-related blackout are often worsened by those who suffer from anxiety disorders."
Even non-alcoholics will "blackout" when they ingest enough alcohol. Being a "blackout drinker" does seem impressive to those who don't drink much anyway - but unfortunately, to the real alcoholic, this hardly matters. He will not find this particularly enlightening or useful for identification purposes. Yes EVERYBODY does blackout when drinking THAT MUCH (It's just that not everyone drinks THAT MUCH.)
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| E.M. Jellinek with Mrs. Marty Mann |
Just reviewing, where did Fred wind up?
Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering.
Note: Have you suffered unbearably after drinking?
Mental suffering: Depression, anxiety, regret, remorse?
Physical suffering: Hangover symptoms, shaky, headache, nausea, aching, fuzzy thinking, fatigue?
For more info on Jellinek check out:
Jellinek, E. M., The Disease Concept of Alcoholism, Hillhouse, (New Haven), 1960.
TOMORROW:
- How was he drinking?
- What did he remember his A.A. friends had prophesied?
- What did they say would happen in spite of his determination to not drink?
- How well did his self-knowledge serve him?
- Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all.
- From this experience, what did he come to know?
Peace & Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
The lesson here comes from Fred being well-schooled on alcoholism. He had it ALL explained to him and it made perfect sense to him. They told him about the mental insanity, the physical craving phenomenon – he LOVED it! He was sure that now having learned what the problem was, admitting it – that he had it. He was sure that all he had to do was use that AHA! experience to stay away from the drink. Then he drank anyway.
ReplyDeleteBut finally once he decided to go through ‘the process’, which are the 12-Steps, he recovered. He had the spiritual awakening experience and subsequently the mental inanity of the first drink went away.
I haven't enough digits on my fingers and toes to count all of the alcoholics to whom I’ve explained all about alcoholism . . . who loved it, understood it, repeated it in AA meetings, and to other alcoholic — swore they were thus ‘carrying the message’ — but did not have a spiritual awakening (as the result of the steps).
They dropped off once realizing how difficult it is to search within and admit their faults — and then take on a life of pryer and meditation — and so relapsed. Some quickly, others after extended periods of abstinence and ‘preaching’ AA – even years. Just weren't will to give up the anger — to stop playing God - to stop judging others, playing God. Simple but not easy.
Some are dead as a result. Several by their own hand. Knowing ALL ABOUT the process is not the same as going through it, having the awakening, and then living God-consciously, improving through prayer and meditation.
Fred was a 'know it all' — but he did little. And so he still drank — still subject to the mental insanity for not having forgiven those whom he hated. But once he did it all, went through 'the process' — he got it all — due to recovered alcoholics for whom the same experience had occurred that had passed it on to him. They had that power because it had happened to them.