Patience, Tolerance and Good Will Are Coming

Step We Are On: Four

Page: 70

Chapter: 5 "How It Works"

Subject: Resentment Inventory, Fear, Self-reliance, Patience, Tolerance, Good Will

Read time: 3 mins

Good morning. We are going through the columns of the 4th step directions. We are looking at sex and learning how sex problems…….are problematic in that they can be as much a part of self-centered behaviors and cause harms to others as other human activities.

• If we have been thorough, what have we done?

If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot.

How Long? For a protegee older than 30 years --- a list can typically run around 100 long. It frequently goes as high as 300, even 400, depending on how long a protegee has been alive.  Much under that and they  probably haven’t been thorough enough. 

Near 100 is usually enough to accomplish what this inventory is intended to provide–a clear picture of the flaws in our make-up which caused our downfall, blocking us off from the Sunlight of the Spirit (God's grace) Much more than that and a protegee is probably being ridiculous and procrastinating, or held on a leash by a controlling sponsor or errant Group philosophy.

Think about the word “thorough.” How long does “thorough” mean? It means long enough to play its role in having a “spiritual awakening as the result of these steps”. THAT’S IT! That’s all this process is supposed to do.

It isn’t to psychoanalyze every darned aspect of a spiritually corrupted alcoholic’s self-centered lifestyle. Abusing this marvelously simple device can be tempting, and many yet to be healed, or spiritually relapsed folks heading for a drink or worse will use it for this purpose -  but we will get into how the co-authors handle that later in this study. And they do!

Thorough – Going to the end. Complete. Finished not superficial. As a thorough cleaning.

~ The Winston Simplified Dictionary Encyclopedic Edition (1938)

• What have we listed?

We have listed and analyzed our resentments.

• What have we begun to understand?

We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality.

 Begun.

• We have commenced seeing what?

We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness.

Commenced.

Don’t these four above ideas provide a fair and accurate characterization of the columnar functioning of the written inventory?

• What do they now predict for us at this stage of the process?

We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. 

Notice the co-authors do not pronounce us, “patient," "tolerant,” or say that we are now of, “goodwill.” These attributes are coming ... but we aren't there yet. Not at this early stage of the process anyway. After all, page 70 is only Step 4.

Words used in this book like “commence," and, “begun,” are important. They tell us where we are in relation to these goodly attributes and in understanding. They will happen when God removes the self-will and defects which have blocked us off from Him.

For now, we are beginning to learn these things.

They have not yet become second nature. (But they will if we continue without balking) It is important to know this because very many people perform a 4th step, thinking that it is the key to their happiness and relief or whatever emotional stress they are undergoing.

Then, when relief fails to immediately materialize, they can bolt. Some drink. Some just remain wretched, anxious and full of fear, but dry. Some go so far as to blame their miserable state of mind on the Steps or the sponsor for "going too fast".

There are entire groups, sponsorship cultures that have formed as mini-subcultures within the AA fellowship that are predicated upon constant ongoing 4th step inventories and reliance upon sponsors to motivate through these. Protégés can then expect continuing emotional pain and remorse at this phase of recovery, not relief. (Many religions know this as part of "repentance" for "sins" - in 12 step parlance it is feeling "objectionable" for "flaws" - same thing. Both need God.

We are now beginning to see that the emotional condition called resentment is terrible and it is destructive. After all, have we already been told that . . .


"From it* stem all forms of spiritual disease..."  (64:3) It is true. 

Dying from spiritual disease is an ugly, highly symptomatic, death, wrought with selfishness, disease and mental anguish.

Peace and Love,

Danny S – RLRA

Real Live Recovered Alcoholic

http://stepelevencomesalive.blogspot.com/

*Resentment