An Understanding Person

Step We Are On: Five

Page: 73-74

Chapter: 6 “Into Action”

Subject: Discussing ourselves with another person

So, a minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar . . . . never mind, let’s go to today’s look at Step Five:  

• If our religious convictions require a confession, should we adhere to that?

Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must, and of course, will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it.

Some protestant and Jewish denominations employ plural “confession”.  Catholics have established a sacrament of “penance’, a one-on-one event which can only be administered by an ordained cleric. The co-authors were not suggesting that a 5th  step be a substitute for anyone's religious mandate or that participation in those religious rites or traditions supersede step five "admission".

Contrary to what many presume, a 12 step's  " another human being" portion of the 5th step is not a confession of sins. We are not confessing our "transgression," (cols 1/2/3/4) we are only admitting their NATURES. (cols 3/4)

• If we have no religious connections, is it all right to go to a member of the clergy?

Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion.

The co-authors make reference to “religious people” who later on we  learn means “priests, ministers, or rabbis of the established religions, irrespective of denomination––whether Jewish, Catholic or Protestant. 

They make clear that this method for attaining awakened state of consciousness is borne out of spiritual principles that are shared across all of these denominations.
 

• Do we sometimes find clergy who easily come to understand what we are trying to do?

We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem.

QUESTION” Is it a good idea to twist someone’s arm to get them to listen to us, even if they don’t quite ‘get’ what we are doing?

• Can all clergy be so easily convinced to assist us in this regard?

Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics.

For example: A Catholic Priest or a Rabbi or a Minister with little patience for us, who believes his church is the only way and who will not easily set aside an hour or two for the engagement of a spiritual process not emanating out of his ministry. He may instead prefer to lecture on the theology of his training. 

It could happen, right?

• If we are unable to or prefer not to search out an ordained minister, priest or rabbi,  what should be done instead?

If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend.

This does not have to be a sponsor. It can be simply someone you know. (Your narrator’s 5th step, for example,  was conducted over several weeks time with a total of three separate people, 1) a recovered alcoholic step “guy," 2) a former New York City drug addict call-girl, and 3) a recovered Jesuit priest. 

• The recovered 12-Step 'guy' was for the standard stuff. (98% of the ‘wrongs’.)

• The call-girl was for some of the "wrongs" that an immoral woman used to dealing with self-centered men would well tolerate. (Another % point)

• The Jesuit Priest was a 12 stepper himself, located hundreds of miles away, and had confessed himself to me several years prior about similar behaviors in his own past – and since I now live a small community and raising young children locally (I’m a NY'er now raising a family on Cape Cod), there was practicality in putting some sensible distance between me and anyone who might know the events which pointed to the nature in several of these flaws.
  
  I strongly suggest to anyone who can benefit by it, to stagger and scale their 5^th step among two or more fitting the classification of  “understanding person", rather than giving in to the temotation of leving out any part of an admission to another human being. It needs to get done. And it works! Just be cautious of motives and don’t duplicate admissions in order to elicit favored feedback. It’s "another human being,"  not every human being. 

Peace and Love,

Danny S – RLRA

Real Live Recovered Alcoholic

http://stepelevencomesalive.blogspot.com/