Step We Are On: Nine
Page: 77
Chapter: 6 “Into Action”
Subject: Amends
Read Time: 3 mins.
Page: 77
Chapter: 6 “Into Action”
Subject: Amends
Read Time: 3 mins.
Good morning. The co-authors are discussing bringing up the “God” subject when approaching a target for our “amends,” and what to expect at this stage when approaching those with whom we have been angry.
- If it can help, what are we willing to do?
When it will serve any good purpose, we are willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense.
Conviction – the state of being convinced; strong belief, something firmly believed. An aroused perception of error or sin. A strong admonition of the conscience; religious compunction.
~ The Winston Simplified Dictionary Encyclopedic Edition (1938)
- What question will arise?
The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise.
These folks appeared on our resentment list.
NOTE: “Hated” is past tense.
NOTE: “Hated” is past tense.
- What if he has hurt me more than I have hurt him?
It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we are still not too keen about admitting our faults.
That better attitude is an expression of forgiveness through us. Patience and Tolerance are both beginning to become a part of our new makeup. A new Spirit flows into us as we begin to lose our ties to anger.
- All the same, what do we do?
Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth.
Bit - the metal mouthpiece of a bridle, having rings to which the reins are fastened.
~ The Winston Simplified Dictionary Encyclopedic Edition (1938)
~ The Winston Simplified Dictionary Encyclopedic Edition (1938)
To "take the bit in one's teeth" is an American "English" idiom that literally means to be headstrong or obstinate, in allusion to an obstreperous horse. (That means the horse is pissed off!) Here we take the lead in the situation anyway and we do not shy away from this deed (It's OUR teeth taking the bit!)
Notice how hatred has mitigated and instead we now merely dislike? That's because emotion has been removed and judgment has been reduced to simple discernment.
Notice how hatred has mitigated and instead we now merely dislike? That's because emotion has been removed and judgment has been reduced to simple discernment.
- Even though it is difficult going to an enemy, what are the results?
It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us.
It is possible to love (to not hate) someone we dislike. For example, I do not like (I dislike) certain politicians. I do not hate (resent) them. I dislike discourteous drivers. I do not hate them. Not hating, being free from anger, is the simple principle behind loving our enemies.
You will be told this cannot happen. It will be proposed to you that negative emotions must be somehow managed, that freedom from them is not possible, that it is delusional to believe so; that a wresting of outcomes, in the name of God, can work. "Self" will do that. It'll use the name of God. But it's not true. It doesn't work. Doing for ourselves what only God can do for us never does.
You will be told this cannot happen. It will be proposed to you that negative emotions must be somehow managed, that freedom from them is not possible, that it is delusional to believe so; that a wresting of outcomes, in the name of God, can work. "Self" will do that. It'll use the name of God. But it's not true. It doesn't work. Doing for ourselves what only God can do for us never does.
We can all be saved from anger through experiencing immunity from anger (not hating). That loving spirit is coming to life right here, right now during our "amends" endeavoring. There is more on this idea to follow. Glad you're with us on this Big Book expedition.
Peace and Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
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