Page: 77 & 78
Chapter: 6 “Into Action”
Subject: Amends
Good morning. The co-authors are discussing what to expect at this stage when approaching those with whom we have previously been angry.
- By the time of our approach, are we still filled with resentment for the harms they have done us - those we've identified in the second column of our inventory? (The WHEN)
We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit,
Comment: Could this be termed “love?” -- to want to help and forgive? Approaching a man when we are still riddled with resentment will have a nasty effect, but at this stage of the journey, we are no longer angry with this person. This is the amazing effect of the spiritual awakening experience that has occurred by this time.
- What do we confess? (The HOW)
confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret.
"FORMER" ill feeling. It is not happening anymore. If you go to a man while still secretly hating him you will NOT impress him in the least. He will sense your insincerity.
Comment: Step Nine is the Step that that is characterized by forgiveness (The lack of resentment) we no longer carry the grudges of the past, nor do we fear this approach as we did before. Whom, on your Fourth Step lists, did you not have ill feelings toward? If we want to be forgiven, we must forgive and then we are free. Forgiveness is just a word we have for not hating our "enemy.”
Comment: From this point in Chapter 6 to the last paragraph on page 83, we will be told WHEN & HOW to “make direct amends to those we have harmed, except when to do so would hurt them or someone else” for specific situations and WHAT the results will be. Watch for them.
- When can we criticize someone?
Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.
- Very simply, what do we tell them?
Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past.
- Why are we trying to make restitution?
We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so,
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(Page 78)
- Do we then tell them what they should do?
never trying to tell him what he should do.
Note: Forgiveness is not an art or spiritual pastime. It isn’t a human skill to learn and implement through workshops, books, meditation, incantation or any willful methodology.
It isn’t something we can decide to 'do'. Forgiveness is an experience of human spirit we are gifted and which becomes an integral part of us once we become free from anger.
It isn’t something we can decide to 'do'. Forgiveness is an experience of human spirit we are gifted and which becomes an integral part of us once we become free from anger.
It comes automatically when we are not upset by the people, places, and things we encounter in the Stream of Life. Not being upset means remaining emotionally neutral while making allowances for conditions around us with which we might otherwise take offense.
Spiritually awake and aware God conscious people do not live angrily. We are free from it and do not justify it. We become immune.
Peace and Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
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