Step We Are On: Nine
Page: 78
Chapter: 6 “Into Action”
Subject: Amends
Good morning. Page 78, please.
The co-authors are discussing what to expect at this stage when approaching those we have harmed. In this vital step, we are setting out to repair the damages we've caused in the past.
This method can take guts at times because it means formally admitting our faults; with authority, moving to improve and become better in our conduct or ways. That entails restitution.
The co-authors are discussing what to expect at this stage when approaching those we have harmed. In this vital step, we are setting out to repair the damages we've caused in the past.
This method can take guts at times because it means formally admitting our faults; with authority, moving to improve and become better in our conduct or ways. That entails restitution.
There is certain character to this task and there are some predictions that can be made regarding this process. The co-authors are discussing them:
- If we go to the person we have harmed in a direct, unemotional and honest manner, what will happen?
If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result.
Remember the call in Step Nine is for “direct” amends. While most amends are customarily made face-to-face, "direct" does not mean “in-person.”
In Big Book and 1938 context, the word "direct" makes quite another important point we don't what to avoid. (Well, some of us DO want to avoid it, but we are shooting for accuracy here.)
The meaning of “direct” is “open straightforward truthful. Simple, plain without ambiguity; sincere.” ~ The Winston Simplified Dictionary Encyclopedic Edition (1938)
We cannot make proper amends to someone for whom still harbor ill will, resentment. It is artificial and insincere. No wonder the real meaning of "direct" in step nine is so often avoided in some Twelve Step practices.
If the work has been done properly at this stage, then we have already been freed from the anger associated with the resentment-plagued items in our lifetime inventory.
Then making genuine, sincere amends, aka “DIRECT AMENDS,” even to someone we do not 'like', comes naturally. It is executed with love.
- What happens most of the time?
In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens.
Only ten percent of the time do these things go as we think they will go.
- What happens sometimes?
Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years' standing melt away in an hour
What nearly always happens?
Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress.
- What else happens, sometimes?
Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well.
- Occasionally, they will do what?
Occasionally, they will offer assistance.
It’s rare. But it does happen.
Peace and Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
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