Page: 42
Step we are on: Step One
Chapter: More About Alcoholism
Subject: Mental Condition, Fred the Accountant, Insanity, Two Fold illness, Nervous, Pre-lapse, Relapse, Normal vs. Abnormal
Good morning. We are still hearing Fred's account. We're going to see just how thorough and direct was the approach to Fred? Compare this to some of the "12 Step calls" you've ever been on. Hopefully, there were great similarities.
It is important to let our prospect know just what he is in for. If we skip this part of the instructions the typical drunk is apt to agree to just about anything he thinks will provide him with hope for some relief. (Often just to get back into the "Big Bed.") By outlining the drastic proposals ahead of him should he accept, decreases the chance of failure greatly. Most newcomers haven't got a CLUE of just what they are getting into when we agree to 'sponsor' them. Many end up running for the hills or seeking out chickenshit sponsorship more conducive to their prejudices-- spiritual and otherwise.
- What two questions did they ask Fred?
and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time.
To what did he concede?
I had to concede both propositions.
- What did they pile on him? Two Sentences
They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen.
By the dozen! This is a place for those drunkalogues! (In an eyeball-to-eyeball approach to a puking drunk - not in a meeting)
"Drunkologues" are stories ("What we were like") that clearly illustrate the mental obsession and physical craving combination - the vicious cycle. This is a hard hitting, powerful approach. There's no time for bullshit and it requires energy and commitment plus the ability to recall a preponderance of evidence out of our own histories illustrating that we are real alcoholics. More importantly, it requires that we have had a spiritual awaking as the result of these steps and recovered from chronic alcoholism. Otherwise, what do we have to pass on?We aren't here to show what wonderful AA raconteurs we are. We are agents of God - saving lives."Still Recovering" sounds noble and appealing in some circles - but false humility won't cut it here. Too many of us true alcoholics have developed a keen bullshit detector and will never follow through with the drastic actions working with anyone who has failed to make a visceral connection - that he has truly walked in our shoes.
They wanted to make certain he was fully convinced he was hopeless. If he was.
- What did this do for him?
This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself.
- Once he admitted defeat, what did they tell him?
"Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully.
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| What a vicious cycle! Alcoholism is a two-fold disease of body AND mind brought on by primary illness: Spiritual disease. |
What a vicious cycle! Alcoholism is a two-fold condition of body
AND mind brought on by primary illness: "Spiritual disease"
They outlined the WHOLE PROGRAM. Not the first three steps. Not how many meetings they should attend. All 12 steps. Right at the outset.
There is no timid, scraping overture to get someone to start going to meetings and setting up cupcakes with the hope of later bait-switching him into a spiritual lifestyle. That may work for suggestible, hurting, hard-drinkers but experience shows again and again that this approach never works for the real alcoholic.
These co-founders, approaching others, were straight forward about God. They were up-front with prospects about the extreme measures involved right at the start of their meeting a prospect.
Twelve Step work is not a chicken-poop proposal for paling around with suspected membership candidates. It is about building credibility by through the power of identification - explaining common symptoms of chronic alcoholism - not talking about our favorite sports teams
Where is this “outline” of the “spiritual answer” and “program of action”?
If you cannot do it from memory then it is summarized on pages 59 and 60 of the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous". Pull it out and use it from start to finish and explain to him what is involved. That is an outline!
Sponsoring unqualified, unwilling prospects is a waste of time when our energies might be better spent with a real alcoholic who is willing to pay the high price. Freedom is costly.
It is only fair that a man ought to be able to answer, “Yes I am willing to go to any length” knowing what “any length” means. He might think it means meeting once, ask for a 12 X 12 reading or a friendly Q &A chat about a few Big Book chapters over coffee.
He is WRONG!
Only after Fred the Accountant had admitted complete defeat were they willing to let him in on our spiritual Solution. This is the way it should be. We should never get into the Solution until we have made certain our prospect is completely defeated.
Remember, Bill was ready to do anything to avoid death or wet brain insanity when Ebby showed up, two months sober, and gave Bill some hope that he might not have to die drunk after all. But then Ebby mentioned God and Bill was turned off with the idea and continued drinking until he thought he was going to die of a heart attack during DTs.
After Bill left Town’s Hospital, he devoted a part of just about every day to looking for a serious drinker. He ran every one of them off by talking about his Solution.
He failed to tell them about the scientific hopelessness of alcoholism. The first time he tried it the way Dr. Silkworth described alcoholism to him was when he was sitting in front of a prominent surgeon in Akron, Ohio.
Dr. Bob was willing to let this rummy from New York have only 15 minutes of his time but Bill changed his approach, described alcoholism as Dr. Silkworth had described it to him and the 15 minutes lasted 15 years for Dr. Bob, 36 years for Bill and we are here because Bill gave the good Doctor a killer case of alcoholism.
Peace and Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
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