Implications of Amends

Step We Are On: NineChapter: 6 “Into Action”
Subject: Angry Wives, Amends, Alimony, Jail
Page: 79, 80
Good morning. We are looking at the divorced, remarried man with an angry ex-wife he had wronged.
Page 79 - Continued

• What did he promise?

He told her what he would try to do in the future.
Paying off his delinquent alimony debt to her.

• What did he tell her he was willing to do?

He said he was perfectly willing to go to jail if she insisted.

Again: "WILLING TO GO TO JAIL"

• What was the outcome?

Of course she did not, and the whole situation has long since been adjusted.

"Whew! Of course." - After all,  how could she get the money he owed her if he were in jail?

Now we are looking at a very particular kind of situation — one where the amends approach may have some reach extending beyond ourselves — and might incriminate another person in the process. To avoid dragging them into amends that perhaps they are not willing to become embroiled, there are some things we can do. 

Page 80

• If other people might be affected, what do we do?

Before taking drastic action which might implicate other people we secure their consent.We approach them and ask if it is okay to risk their involvement. There will be a temptation to skip an amend because of implication to others - BUT we do not abandon an amend on that basis. We ask for permission to proceed. If we don't get it, then and only then may we decide to move on — the restitution unmade. Not all can be made. (Most can)

• If they give permission, what is the first thing we do?

If we have obtained permission,

Implicate -  1. to fold, entwine, entangle 2 to involve deeply, especially unfavorably, as a person in a crime.[1]

• What else?

have consulted with others

This may be a sponsor. It doesn’t have to be limited to a sponsor. Notice that "others" is plural.

• After talking with our "others,” what is the next step?

asked God to help

We are on Step Nine, 3/4 of the way through all 12.  Conscious contact has by this time been made. This is a simple heartfelt request to God made in the spirit of our usefulness to others when made by an awakened person. Now there is no need to fear that our request will not be heard, after all, at this point in the Step succession a spiritual awakening has occurred. We are making a request to God from an awakened, aware, God-conscious state––no longer self-centered, or ambitious. With this new God connection established we are automatically humble and motivated in ways we had never been before — as when we had, “prayed,” selfishly for our own ends.

Speaking into a land-line phone that has a severed cord —  the speaker never contacts the intended recipient. His words never reach the other end;  but once a connection is reestablished, the communication gets through easily.
Conversely, an awakened person has contact with God and the request is heard.  An unconscious person, who can only pray selfishly, does not have this same benefit.

Many of us have prayed and prayed only to feel that we have been ignored. It wasn’t that we had been ignored. It’s that our prayers were never heard. They never got through. Without contact with God the line goes dead, and so our beseeching was indeed in vain — it never worked. How lonely, how dark — to be cut off.

• If it needs to be done, what do we not do?

and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink.


Shrink - to draw back, as from danger or threat.[2]

Peace and  Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
http://stepelevencomesalive.blogspot.com/

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1, 2  -  The Winston Simplified Dictionary Encyclopedic Edition (1938)